"The time has come to stand for all we believe in. So I, for one, am gonna give my praise to You."

   I've been reading through the book of Joshua lately. Since I'm reading a chapter a day and recording what I got out of it, I'm only on the seventh chapter. It's been rewarding and really fitting to my life. Themes like obedience, faith, faithfulness, and trust are a common occurrence in my notes. I've also recorded things like, "God can use anyone to carry out His will," "You have to have faith that God will direct your way, even if you can't see anything," "How many times do we obey the word of the Lord?" "How many times do we refuse to follow God?" "Sometimes God lifts us up to become leaders so He gets the glory He deserves," and "Joshua obeyed and was humble." Just by reading these few chapters, my faith seems to grow stronger and I'm growing more and more confident each and every single day. Normally, one would think that's awesome in a teenage girl's life. Don't get me wrong, it is. I would love to see every teenage girl in the world to be immersed in God's word. But for me, it's signs. What I get out of the chapters are all signs of what God's calling me to be...what God's calling me to do....

   Tomorrow, Wednesday, July 20, 2011, I will be leading my youth group's worship for the first time ever. By myself. Every time I've ever done congregational worship, I've always played with someone else and had someone else lead. The only exception to this is that I've lead some form of congregational worship through my church's Children's Church once every three months or so. Even then, I have another older person to get the children to sing and most of the kids quit singing after the first chorus. Of course, the little kids are important. It's important to instill a love for Christ and worship in them at a young age, but there's just something about playing for people your age. It feels like there's more pressure and God expects more out of you. Yes, I know God is pleased with how faithful you are, not how great you are. It's just...I don't know what it is...it kind of feels like a step into something I don't want to be apart of. I really don't want to be apart of leading worship. I'm okay with leading worship with the little kids, I just don't want to move in the direction God's moving me into. But I do know that He has a plan for me already laid out and I just have to ask Him to guide me, even if I don't like it or not. 

   Joshua was a man who followed God with everything he had. It was evident in the way he lived his life. In the first seven chapters of Joshua, I see that Joshua never disobeyed God and His rules. Joshua followed everything God told him to do to the T. Joshua never hesitated, he never procrastinated, he just did. He lead Israel by what God told him to do. And I'm pretty sure Joshua never signed up to be the leader of Israel. God just told Joshua that He had a purpose for him and was going to use him to lead Israel, and of course, Joshua obeyed what God told him. 

  So, of course, I would be reading Joshua at this time. God has a purpose for my life. I may not know what it is or where I'll be going, but He has a purpose and a plan for my life. He knows where I'll be going in the fall of 2012, what classes I'll be taking, whether I'll be rejoicing I got into Duke or whether I'll be crying, who I'll be dating or not dating, what tests I'll excel or fail in, and what field I'll be working in for the rest of my life. I find comfort in knowing that He knows everything. I also find a bit of worry as I know I have no idea about these things. I like to be in control, but I'm learning that I need to let that go. Joshua obeyed every time God told Him to do something, and now it's my turn to obey when God tells me to lead worship. 

   I stumbled upon a few lyrics today and they seemed to fit this blog post and my life:

    "You hold the future in Your hands. You know my dreams and You have a plan. And as You light my way, I'll follow You. My eyes on all of the above, my soul secure in all you've done. My mind's made up, and You are the only one for me. Jesus, Savior, in my life You are everything. My future decided, I will praise Your name. And I know that I am, I am Yours. I know that I am, I am Yours."-My Future Decided by Hillsong United

    "The time has come to stand for all we believe in. So I, for one, am gonna give my praise to You. Today, today, it's all or nothing. All the way. The praise goes out to You, all the praise goes out to You. Today, today, I live for one thing: to give You praise in everything I do. All the praise goes out to You!"-The Time Has Come: Hillsong United

Dear Lord, 

  I want to give everything to You. As I seek to know You more, place the path You want me to walk on before me. Search my heart and show Your face, because You're all I want. I want You to have Your way in my life, even if that means leading worship or not being accepted into Duke University. You know that's my dream and I ask for Your will to be done. You're wonderful, magnificent, glorious, beautiful, and just...words can't describe you. You're indescribable and I'm so happy You picked me up and are molding me to become the woman of God You want me to be. Without You, I am nothing. So direct my paths and make me fall in love with the school You want me to be. Make me fall in love with what You want me to do. Give me a passion for what You want me to do. Make me into who You want me to be, not who I want to be. I praise You for You're the One who will always be with me. You'll never leave me or forsake me. You're my victory and You'll always be with me. Thank You for loving me the way You love me. 

-hannah <3