"I look up to the sky and say, You're beautiful."

I personally think the best way to eat breakfast is outside on a porch, soaking in God's Word as you feed your spiritual needs as well as your physical. I was on my way home from dropping off my sister at tennis camp when all of a sudden that idea hit me. Once I got inside my house, I immediately made a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, grabbed my Bible and a pencil, and sat down on a white rocker on my front porch. Immediately, I knew this was the best idea that I had in a long time. I absolutely loved it! I couldn't help but take in God's creation as I read and prayed. The light blue skies, the cotton ball clouds, the vibrant green grass...all of it was just amazing. It was just like God said, "Here you go, my daughter, this is all for you this morning." There are no words to describe how I felt this morning. I would read a couple of passages and then stop and pray and tell my Father what was really on my mind. And I could just imagine Him sitting in heaven, seated on His throne, smiling down and nodding His head like He wanted to hear every single word I was saying and just listen to me. That's amazing. The Lord of heaven and earth, the One who created me, wants to hear every single word I say. He wants the best for me and wants me to be so close to Him. Can't you just imagine Him whispering in the silence, "My child, let's talk and grow closer to each other." But too often we can't even sit down for two seconds and let the Holy Spirit fall on us and immediately be in God's presence. Don't get me wrong, I'm preaching to myself. Lately, I've been using the excuse that I'm too busy for God when the truth is I don't want to be close to God. I don't want to do the work and sit in the silence and let His Spirit fall on me. So this morning, I stopped everything I was doing and just spent time in His Word and telling Him what's on my mind.
But it didn't end there. Moments before I finished reading a Psalm, a song popped in my head: "I come before You today and there's just one thing that I want to say. Thank You, Lord. Thank You, Lord...with a greatful heart, with a song of praise, with an outstreched arm, I will bless Your name." The song by Don Moen just continuously played in my head. Finally, after praying one last time, I took my guitar upstairs and began to play it. I thought that if I played it, the song would leave my mind. But I continued to play song after song after song and before I knew it, my little quick song turned into a time of worship. It was the icing on the cake for me this morning and it set the tone for the rest of my day. I just absolutely love those moments where you think that you're going to play a few songs, put the guitar up, and then get on with your life, but the Holy Spirit falls on you and makes you stay for an hour or two, just worshipping the One who deserves it all. Those are the moments I wish I could live out every single day.
Though, I must say my heart is heavy. There's so much to be prayed about in my life, but there's just one thing that's really on my mind lately. Ever since I got back from Duke, I've been praying about going there every time I have Duke on my mind. And most of the time, I pray about it at least twenty times or more a day. Duke is sooo heavy on my heart. If it's where God wants me to go, it seems like it's too easy of a choice. What I mean is if that's where He has me going, then I know He'll get the admissions office to accept me and it'll seem like it was too easy of a choice. I'm also so set on Duke that I'm afraid that God will send me somewhere I won't love. I don't want to get my hopes up but every time I read something from Duke, it's like I fall more in love with it.  And I know I've got until December to find out if Duke will accept me or not, but it's like I'm so tired of stressing about where He wants me to go that I'm just ready to get everything done and over with. I know I need to really focus on other colleges, but it seems like I can't. Every time I go to look at another college, I think about how that college compares to Duke. I know, I know that everything I just said was a bunch of stream-of-consciousness writing. But I can't seem to get all my thoughts out quick enough! My mind just filps from one thing to the next when I think about Duke. So I need your prayers sooo badly. My heart is sooo heavy with this! Just pray that God shows me where He wants me to go, because that's all that matters. I would love to go to Duke, but if it's not His will, then I'm not going.

Lord, help me to commit my ways to You no matter where that leads me. Lord, You know where I want to go, but only You can show me where You want me to go. My wishes and desires and dreams are Yours, and You know that. Just show me where and I'll go, even if it breaks my heart if it's not Duke.
-hannah